Motions that don't exist are constantly pouncing on the corners of my vision and it terrifies me. No flicker of movement is a butterfly or a falling leaf -  they're always poisonous spiders or inscrutable forces waiting to kill me. My memory and sense of time are off, too, and I don't mean in the sense of "it feels like just yesterday I was getting back from France." Hours and days pass and it's hard to remember what I did.

I said it in jest before, but apparently social anxiety can turn into actual agoraphobia. I guess that's a reasonable explanation for hiding whenever someone approaches the house and refusing to leave even for things I know I have to do. I feel a little bit less than human lately and mistrust the people who say they understand out of a desire to be nice. No one is making my life hard but me, which is the hardest shackle to loose.