Part v. Whole




Whenever I'm making or doing something, there's always a hidden wish to become. I fast-forward months and years, sometimes up to my own deathbed, seeing myself as master chef, genius photographer, professor emeritus, brilliant writer, defined for everyone by the things I have done. For many reasons I wish I could excise this part from my mind. If vague dreams overshadow what I'm currently doing, it's harder to find the next concrete step. It pits the joyful parts of my life against one another in a zero-sum vision of deceptive simplicity. I don't know what's going to happen today, let alone in the next sixty years, and I'm willing to bet it will involve art, food, learning, and writing along with many things I haven't yet discovered I love. Most importantly, no one of those things will have the power to sum me up into a tidy, constant, or knowable quantity.


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