I keep dreaming I'm back in high school, that it turns out I didn't finish after all, that I have chemistry or politics or something to cover before I can be done.

Last night I was rehearsing for a school musical, working through unclear choreography made up on the spot by our incompetent theater teacher and singing off-key. As facile as it was, I couldn't put my limbs where I wanted and was utterly ashamed of myself. Eventually I gave up on graduating and left to try to see Nic for a few minutes before he left for Africa (though in real life that's already happened.)

Why don't I ever dream about college? Why in my dreams am I never the person I (believe I) am now?