28.5.13

So many of the things that we argue about could be solved, I feel, by redrawing a line. Maybe this is because I feel strongly that all of our lines of definition (perception) are arbitrary - and we can speculate as to their evolutionary origins and take soundings of their accuracy as to the "reality" of the situation but we cannot move outside of them. These lines run through space and time, between molecules and subatomic particles, between neural formations (more lines) and between and around individuals (that's a concept that's inherently tied to the line, if there ever was one). If you zoom in on the line it has breadth in its representation, it is spatially and temporally meaty, it has a history and a future and like everything else can change, does change, is changing.

Why do I want to be a circus performer? I have always wanted to see feats of strength and courage, especially and preferably when performed by myself. I want people to see me, in a controlled environment in which I have all the power and am not required to interact in uncontrolled ways. I want to be recognized for my efforts, which so often (I feel) are invisible because they disappear into actions that usually don't require that much effort. It's easy to watch someone else doing it, so it's easy to imagine myself doing it. Invisible efforts disappear in my eyes too. I want to scare people because I am scared. I want to impress them because I am impressed. I don't know, these are all propositions in desperate need of some salting.

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