Why do I write my blog in this particular way? Because everything is personal? Because I take everything personally? There are lots of people out there blogging as a part of their "professional" life, separating things, cordoning off. Which I suppose I'm doing too in the opposite direction. It seems somehow safer to write about my fears, addictions, and mental stumbling blocks, than to tell you what I do for a living or what I did today. One's as much a process of image-control as the other. I guess I'm just questioning what this blog is about, which is to ask, as usual - am I working hard enough? Something I've been turning around in my mind in recent months is how to distinguish the things I'm serious about from the things I'm just doing for fun. There are very few of the latter because I doubt that I've ever half-assed anything in my life. I either do very well or refuse to do it at all, which is a pretty damaging model in the long run. Not that I shouldn't enjoy the things I'm also serious about, but I don't have to be serious about the fun things. I've yet to make clear which ones are which, though. And now that I've become so serious about trying to have fun, maybe I've screwed my chances once and for all...