I'm still in that awkward position of not knowing what it is I want, except that it's not this. Except when sometimes it is. Wanting to live with passion, in passionate inspiration, living by being alive.

(No picture. Picture uploading takes a lot of data. Data, data, data.)

I may be brave but I live more in a state of endurance. I will crouch for years before taking a leap, but that's where bravery really lies. Not in being afraid, but in being afraid and acting. But is continuing to do the same thing that always makes you afraid an action or just some kind of buying-in? And is ceasing to do the thing that makes you miserable quitting or self-preservation? Everyone else seems to frame things so clearly while I turn them over and around in my head and each turn dissociates another reality.

How do you hold a thought across distance and time? They're such fragile bubbles, gone as soon as they exist.

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