One thing I can imagine myself doing is becoming an outsider artist (setting aside that probably no one sets out to do that). But money, how do you have money enough to live making things just because you have to? But people get along fine without money... except when they don't... I don't feel sane enough to make it in the real world but I'm not insane enough not to care.



I need to be back on some kind of drugs. I can handle it when I'm entirely tuned out and living in my own world where my feelings make sense, but not when I'm beating my head against what everyone else has constructed. I don't know. Everybody has trouble in life. I just want to be alone be somewhere I feel comfortable. Usually alone.



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