You have to hurt yourself sometimes.

I've been wearing a lot of black, but I don't feel like a made-up version of myself. I feel realer than real.

Have I ever not felt real? Compared to other people, yes, but maybe never in reference to myself. I've always taken myself as a given.

Moving to my seventh house in/around this town. Seven is (to some) a magic number. Eventually the bigness of it stops feeling surprising. I say that not having lain in the dark in the first night of my new bedroom. At least now I know what to look forward to. Moving every year is a good exercise in letting go. You have to hurt yourself sometimes.