All the bathing I've been doing has not accomplished the desired effect, that is, total transformation.

I have to keep a tight focus to accept my same old problems when they come back to fight another round. It's easy to hate myself, it's easy to despair ever making progress.

But I do accept, I accept my incredible capacity for love, my infinite sadness, my great big overflowing heart. I accept my fear - this world is going to break all our hearts and kill us in the end. I accept my jealousy and selfishness. I accept the heaviness of pain. I accept my bottomless shame and disappointment. I accept my neediness and my weakness, my wallowing and avoidance. This is who I am and if I'm going to love myself it'll be the whole kit and caboodle.

Harpa, Reykjavik
Nov. 2014

Plus sides: 
writing again
reading a shit-ton of poetry
crying every day
feeling emotions I thought I'd left behind=evidence that it's still me in there
gratitude in the extreme for the power I have learned I possess

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