I have this conversation with myself constantly:

"I should trust my intuition."
"But if I consider my initial impression of a situation to be prophetic, won't that influence how I act and thereby bear out my predictions, superseding what would have happened had I gone in with an open mind?"

Either way I can't prevent my thoughts, so why am I still worrying?
There is no going in with an open mind.


***


On March 17th I wrote:

(...) but I can't predict the future, so why inflict pain based on hypotheticals? Based on past experience, I'll know when things need to change, and I'll do it then. I can only act in the present based on the present. In general it's best not to trust my feeling of impending doom. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to have fun.


And today:

(...) but even so, comparisons are, as they say, odious and the past has already shaped how I behave in the present. I don't have to make such strenuous analyses(...)
Time will tell what self-analysis and retrospection cannot.

***


You'd think with so much experience attempting to calm myself down I'd be better at it by now.


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