We assume a correlation between expertise and money, but I blew past my 10,000 hours of self-analysis long ago and the $$$ is not yet rolling in. Increasingly I also question the ultimate usefulness of the project. Maybe thinking about my feelings is a distraction that keeps me from working on other areas of my life. If I'm always changing there's no solution to be found anyway.

Not that I haven't developed some skills, just that pinning myself down to any particular characteristic seems futile. The feelings change the actions change the feelings.

I need to put myself out there. I need to stay in my room scanning.


DC, April 2016

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