Summer thunder today from an unconvincingly blue sky.
I'm trying to keep my focus but it's damn hard.

Evergreen State College, 2016

There's a sticking point/uncomfortable plateau between the poles of optimistic motivation and complete desperation (the rare states that enable me to get something done) where I lag, convinced that if I think things through, if I can just figure this shit out, then I can move forward. Ironically, obsessive focus does nothing to help me with any relationship, career, or project. Never. The same things would get done with a tenth the thinking. Actually, I could do a lot more if I didn't waste so much time on thoughts.