I'm nervous that I've devoted myself to not-trying, or maybe better put: that I've confused thinking with trying. My brain could loop forever on any topic that happens to be to hand. Think, think, think. I can (and do) sit still for hours doing nothing, but this is *not* mindfulness in the zen sense. Brainfulness?

Maybe this isn't a problem; I just don't care that much about goals. I prefer random action (exciting!) informed by iterative consideration (fulfilling!). I often decide it's better to do a few things well than many things poorly, especially given my inability to avoid falling head over heels into whatever I happen to be doing. I really, truly enjoy hand-washing my clothes and watching them dry, which could be the definition of boringness except that, since I truly care about it, it's very much not.