There's a particular excitement to making plans, an electric crackle of possibility that hooks me every time. What exactly has changed I can't pinpoint, but for once I have confidence that not only will I get through these next few months, it will turn out solidly well.
I'm overflowing with ideas for the band, and if I'm lucky I'll have help in implementing most of them. Most do rest on collaboration, rather than on fantastically unrealistic expectations of myself, which my plans have tended towards in the past. I think I may have to accept that I'm the director now, after weeks of denying it while doing all the director's work and more.
On top of that, school is increasingly demanding. Somehow I ended up with classes that are more challenging for me personally than those I usually take, certainly ones I would have defined as outside my comfort zone, but new methods and subjects are inspiring. I feel smart, in the way that only mastering something I define as difficult can make me.
