Beds and floors

I want to dive down, down, down, straining with gravity against my body's own buoyancy to clutch at the reality of a river bed or rough pool's floor. This is no weather for swimming, but I love that panicky feeling of holding my breath too long, ears straining with pressure as I grope blindly around a meaningless but tangible goal. More tangible than most things I'm groping for these days.

My friend Taka took this photo of me on an incredibly hot and uncomfortable day. I should remember that in that case the river blatantly rejected me--never have I floated so well.