Maybe because sitting alone in someone else's house away from town (as opposed to sitting alone in my house in town) makes me lonely, here are some things I'm thinking about tonight:


The best pictures are always the ones that never really existed, on (to use the word loosely) my too-frequently misloaded rolls of film.


Sometimes I'm very afraid I'm destined to never have a career in the sense of being interested in/devoted to the thing I'm getting paid for, or in the sense of feeling accomplished at anything in particular. When does being well-rounded (good) become lacking commitment (bad)? Does it? I have multiply-selective tunnel-vision that makes each of the many things that interest me seem all-important, which turns up guilt at not devoting my whole self to each of them individually. I have a suspicion that this concern is not specific to me and is true of basically all self-critically idealistic young people trying to like themselves.