I was at a friend of a friend's capstone poetry reading this week, having typically self-centric thoughts in response to other people's art. I'm finding myself somewhat monotonous. When I'm with people and having to interact, I'm terrified and stop as soon as possible, and when I'm with people but not interacting I feel only my non-connectedness, floating as I am untethered through social space, and every person could be my best friend if I only knew them. There was a lot of hugging and crying at this reading, people getting ready to say goodbye with years of connection between them. I was jealous, so jealous knowing that at my graduation, if that ever actually comes, I'll be all alone and gone like I'd never been there. I haven't been doing a lot of friend-making the last few years.