A lot of these recent ones have been from recent times. I've started catching up to myself.
It's hard to reconcile the experience of getting, when I was 17, the two things I wanted most in the world, with the seven years I've spent dealing with it. Or not dealing with it. Just dealing, after it. The experience of wanting is radically different when you're faced with the possibility of achieving. I was fine (relatively, right?) so long as there was, in my mind, no way from here to there. I could inhabit desire. I find it much harder to inhabit action, or desire that necessitates action.